Anyway, it's been a tough week, and here are a few pieces of the 'real' me that I've been struggling with this week--
- I hate getting up early. Let me repeat that. I. Hate. Getting. Up. Early! Now, let me explain. 6:30 or 7:00 would be perfect for me. Even six would be feasible. But, to make it up before my kids and have any amount of decent quiet time, that alarm has to go off before 6:00-- like, 5:30, and I HATE it! As much as I try to be a morning person, and I try to encourage you all on here to have early morning devotions---let me just be honest---I hate getting up early. The really annoying part is, there is NO other option. I've tried sleeping later and trying to squeeze my devotions in another part of the day---and it just doesn't work. For one thing, my day just gets too crowded and busy with the kids. For another, I LIKE having them first thing in the morning---but why, oh WHY can't we wait until it's actually morning, and not 'really, really late at night??' Six hours of sleep just isn't cutting it for me, and my body is starting to complain--need...more....sleep...... Why not just go to bed earlier, you ask? Oh, I see, you've never had kids!
- I feel like I can't keep my house clean. Seriously. I clean one room, and then I move on to the next. When I turn around, the kids have made a mess in the room that I just finished cleaning! It's not clean anymore! And nobody even got to see it for the whole, oh say, five minutes that it was actually clean! I take Joel to the room and say "See this room? It was clean earlier today...just so you know." So does what I do matter?? Sometimes I wonder.....
- I feel like sometimes I work hard at things just to have them 'undone'. For instance, a few months ago, Joel and I spent several hours...no, days.....organizing five years worth of pictures into chronological order, and putting them in albums. Today, Eli dumped a whole album out and messed up my chronological order. WHY?? I don't know. *sigh*
- And finally, as much as I posted a nice, positive 'Happy Birthday Eli' post yesterday, that's not at all how I saw it. Oh, he had a blast, but---I spent all weekend planning his party to have with his grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins---which, for Joel and my family, equals approximately 24 people. So, I spent hours on Saturday walking through WalMart buying 32 hotdogs, hotdog buns, cupcake mix, cupcake decorating icing and supplies, party hats and plates, a huge tub of icecream, a bunch of chips, a watermelon we'll never be able to eat...the list goes on. But it was okay, because Eli was going to have a fun party. And THEN, he wakes up sick the morning of the party! We had to cancel the whole thing. Now, I've got 32 hotdogs frozen in my freezer, along with 25 cupcakes, 32 hotdog buns, and...I'm going to get fat because I really like the huge tub of strawberry icecream!! ;)
SO ..there you go. You've probably never heard me rant and rave so much on here. Just been one of those weeks. I think I may have to drive me and the kids out to Pilot tomorrow and pick up some kind of fancy coffee----my week is just screaming "Help me!", and coffee might do the trick :) In the meantime, that buzzing alarm is getting closer and closer, so...goodnight!