Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Chasing away the winter blues...

At least, I think that's what I'm trying to do. I need sunshine, flowers, warm walks, open windows, blowing curtains, warm breezes, plants in the garden, trips to the greenhouse....yeah. Me, the lover of all things 'cozy and winter', wants it gone already. We've been cooped up and sick for the past three weeks....and I'm sick of it! (Just being honest).

I love being wife to my husband and mother to my children. I love being the one to care for them, to pray with them, to fix meals, to keep their house clean, to watch them grow.....but sometimes, just sometimes, I get discouraged. I try to do everything perfectly, and when I can't, I get tired, I get grumpy, and I begin to detest what I'm doing. I forget that the life I'm living is the life that I would never, ever, give up, trade in, or change. It's the life that I longed for, prayed for, and am so happy to have. While cleaning my house, instead of having a grateful, serving heart, I find myself thinking things like "Didn't I just wash these jeans on Monday? Why can't anyone but me pick up the shoes and jackets? Can't this floor stay clean for longer than an hour?? Doesn't Joel know to put the DVD's back in their cases?" Yeah. I was actually thinking those things the other day. And you know what? After cloaking myself in self-pity all day, I found myself in tears to my husband last night. " I don't think I can do this! The house never stays clean! Cosette was so grumpy and snippy today! I'm sick of staying here day after day! I can't cook dinner and nurse the baby and watch the kids and get ready for a piano lesson! I don't think I'm doing a good enough joooooob!!!!!! (Enter serious sobs at this point) I was a mess. Tired, I think--- stir crazy, maybe. Mostly, I was just forgetting these verses:

" I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phil 4:13

'"Then the Lord God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."' Genesis 2:18

"Let my soul live that it may praise You, And let Your ordinances help me." Psalm 119: 175

"She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Proverbs 31:26

All the encouragement that I needed was right there in God's Word.

The point of this post? I have no idea. Just 'keepin it real....'

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Jaime,
I just wanted to first let you know that I still read your blog - I check it almost everyday and love reading it. Second, I wanted to sympathize in that I had a day like the one you wrote about today, just the other week. I think as women and mothers we often don't think we are doing enough. But I have to remind myself (or be reminded) that when we do the best we can and do it with love, it will always be enough (even when we think some not so loving thoughts)!
I think about you guys often and hope to make it up your way sometime this summer.
Love,
Kelly (and Wes)
(by the way - I started a blog. It's at threecurtiskids.blogspot.com. Feel free to check it out.)

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